Fondly remembered moments of 2000/01

Lee Clutterbuck v Bassingbourn : "tripped an opponent with a late and unfair tackle" - seems likely. 

Gary Mansfield v Hemingford Utd. Res. : "... deliberately handled the ball in an attempt to score". True, Gary could have been messing about but it's to risky a thing to do even for a laugh.

Andy Oxborough v Hemingford Utd. Res. : "During the first half I had reason to over-rule the Great Paxton Assistant Referee on an offside decision resulting in a goal for Hemingford. Andrew Oxborough came running out of his area shouting at me 'that decision was crap' I cautioned him for verbal dissent." Absolutely right Ref, the player had no right to tell you that even if he was factually correct because If you'd been watching the game I'm sure you would have noticed the player was at least five yards off. This was Andy's first ever booking, wimp!

Dan Plumb v Fordham : "... made a late and reckless tackle from behind...".  I've said it all before, see below.

Wayne Humphrey v Fordham : "... Wayne Humphrey showed dissent towards a decision not to award Great Paxton a free-kick. I explained to him that considering the fact that he was some seventy yards away from the incident and I was a lot closer he had no grounds to question my decision. he then said 'You still did not get it right!' I therefore cautioned him." Another dodgy decision, I'm sure that Duffy was no more than 68 yards away. 

Tony Knowles v Fordham : "... Tony Knowles raised his foot in a dangerous manner as the opposing goalkeeper kicked the ball from his hands... cautioned him for unsporting behaviour". And now for what really happened: The keeper rolled the ball out of his area, Knowlsey sussed it and nicked the ball, the opposition supporters screamed foul and the Ref having his back to the incident went with them!

Kev Fisher v Papworth Res : "In the 36th minute Kevin Fisher was fairly challenged...... he found to the ground, on getting up he appealed for a free-kick. When none was given he turned towards  me and screamed 'You twat'. I immediately dismissed him from the field of play". Yes Ref, that's pretty much how I saw and heard it. Kev Fisher, you are the weakest link, goodbye!.

Dan Plumb v Waterbeach : "Plumb tackled an opponent in a reckless manner and with disproportionate force" - seems likely, well done Ref that's the first use of 'disproportionate' all season.

Danny Garbould v Waterbeach : "... when he realised that I had penalised his tackle he proceeded to kick the ball away. I then administered a caution to Mr Garbould." - it's true, sounds like a copper giving evidence in a sixties movie.

Lee Clutterbuck v Waterbeach : "... a late and somewhat reckless tackle" - everybody on the sidelines and his teammates shouting 'no foul', 'stay on your feet' etc, but Lee couldn't resist diving in (3-0 up at the time).

Tony Knowles v Waterbeach : "... my assistant referee signaled that Mr Knowles was in an off-side position. Mr Knowles took umbrage to my assistants decision and was guilty of showing dissent' - what? Knowlesy off-side, sounds unlikely. You should know Ref that no forward ever thinks he is off-side and no defender ever thinks the forward is on-side.

Ian Dawkes v Girton : "... I awarded a free-kick to Paxton. I asked Ian Dawkes to move the ball back about 8 yards from where he placed the ball. After some complaining by the player he rolled the ball back a few feet. I repeated the instruction to take the ball back eight yards, he again moved the ball back a few feet. When I insisted he take the ball back the full distance, he picked it up and made considerable show of carrying the ball more than 15 yards back. Therefore I cautioned him for the clear act of dissent" now the view of someone standing no more than 3 feet from where the incident happened ....

1. Dawksey tried to steal a couple of yards, not eight yards.

2. The instruction (delivered from some distance away) was to move the ball back SIX yards.

3. Dawksey (the second time) placed the ball exactly where the gouge was that identified where he was fouled.

4. Other players were calling things like "well show him where to take it from then Ref."

5. Dawksey then took the piss by going back miles so you booked him.

6. Players should know that however wrong a Ref is he is still always right.

Kev Fisher v Milton : ".. I awarded a goal to Milton, several Paxton players argued that the ball had not crossed the line, I told them it had.... the player said 'your eyes have not been open all night. I cautioned him for dissent' - I'm sorry Ref but you were on the goal line and the player had his back to the incident, of course he could see much better than you!

Lee Clutterbuck v Cottenham (54th minute): "the player, when tackled, dived to try and get a penalty" - A unique view of the incident, the Cottenham Manager thought it was the most blatant penalty he'd ever seen, a two footed tackle from behind and when the player is down wrapping your legs round him so he can't get up! It gets worse.........

Mark Spavins (on the sidelines) v Cottenham (51st minute): "after I did not give a penalty decision to Great Paxton, instead I booked the player for diving. Whilst I was cautioning the player who dived, the manager of Great Paxton entered the field of play calling me lots of names, the main ones I picked out and heard him say was 'I was a fu**ing cheat, a fu**ing w*nker and a bottler' in a very aggressive manner. I therefore took his name and asked him to leave the field of play. He then promptly walked away cursing and swearing" - We can be confident of the accuracy of this report as the Referee has timed it as 3 minutes before the 'dive' incident occurred (sounds like a good trick). Funnily enough the same Ref turned up (to watch) at the return match only 4 days later, he not only knew all the Cottenham players by name and was drinking in the bar, he was walking round with a broom sweeping up and retrieving balls. Just in case anyone thinks I am implying anything he also played 8 minutes additional time that allowed us to score the winner. It's a funny old game. Still on the funny side it cost Spav £17.00

Dan Plumb v Cottenham (same match) : "the player tackled an opponent late and from behind" - I don't remember it but it seems likely, Dan is asking for nine other similar offences to be taken into consideration, see below and below and below.........

Brian Kitchin v Milton Res. : "the player had been challenged by an opponent..... he said to me, 'that was 10 minutes late Ref', after I told him that I thought the challenge was fair he then said 'You have to be joking mate', I took the appropriate action" - what, you told him to get on with the game Ref? No, you booked him, nice one!

Kev Fisher v Milton Res. : "I had warned the player that I would not tolerate any more blatant fouls, 10 minutes later he held an opponent back by the shirt, I took the appropriate action" - that's better Ref, no argument from me.

Ian Dawkes v Littleport : "I cautioned the player for unsporting behaviour" - Dawksey must have kicked the crap out of someone.

Graham Akers v Papworth Res. : "he ran towards me shouting loudly 'thats our ball', in an aggressive manner" - tut, tut Graham.

Graham Akers v Fordham : "....and shouted very loudly and aggressively at me 'are you watching the same f.....g game?" - bye, Graham    

Simon Anderson v Mildenhall : "the player got involved in a pushing match with an opponent" - Hand bags!

Dan Kennedy v C.U.P. Res. : "he challenged an opponent with a very late, two footed , studs up tackle from behind" - so? 

Phil Darby v Fenstanton : "Darby came up to me shouting in an aggressive manner at the top of his voice that I was not getting my act together. I felt he was wrong........" - Phil Darby, tough to believe.

Ian Dawkes v Over Sports : "Unsporting behaviour" - again.

Ian Dawkes v Fordham : and again

Nick Dyer v Fordham : "Dyer made a very reckless late challenge tripping an opponent" - Nick, you ruffian!

Lee Clutterbuck v St. Ives Rangers : (this is bound to be good) "..he had tripped an opponent with a late and unfair tackle. While administering the caution Mr Clutterbuck agreed that his tackle was late........." - told you it'd be good, can anyone imagine Lee agreeing with a Ref?

Chris Bingham v C.U.P. Res. : "Mr Bingham said 'F..k, F..k, Twat'.... he said to me 'I wasn't swearing at you Ref', I said 'thank you' and sent him off" - not bad on your debut for the club.

Danny Garbould v Godmanchester : "... he and an opponent adopted an aggressive attitude towards each other when they were both trying to get the ball" - Now, now Danny if an opponent wants the ball you just say to him "after you sir".

Danny Garbould v Histon Res. : ".... shouted derogatory comments at me following my decision to penalise one of his team-mates for a foul" - gotta stick up for your mates.

John Goodchild v Papworth Res. : "Late challenge" - boring.

Lee Clutterbuck v Littleport Town Res. : "deliberately struck an opposing player in the face with the ball, I took the appropriate action"  - two minutes from time in a game we were losing 8-2!

Lee Clutterbuck v Sawston : (assistant Referees report) : "I clearly heard.. Lee Clutterbuck say to the Referee 'You are a f.....g moron' - first game back from a 5 week suspension, one minute to go, about five minutes after coming on as a substitute!

Wayne Harris v Godmanchester : "guilty of a late lateral sliding tackle" - What? Chopper, No!

Wayne Harris v Cherry Hinton Res. : "Mr Harris dissented to one of my decisions" - only one?

Wayne Humphrey v Foxton : "a late aggressive challenge from behind" - come on Ref the guy could still walk afterwards (well, nearly).

Dan Kennedy v Hemingford Res. : "said loudly 'you've only got eyes one way Ref " - So Ref you've actually got eyes that point two ways, good trick.

Dan Kennedy v Littleport town Res. : "Bloody Hell Ref you don't know what you are doing"  - Anybody noticing a pattern?

Dan Kennedy v C.U.P. Reserves: The writing is so bad I can barely read it but something about "persistently infringing" - well at least it makes a change.

Dan Kennedy v Papworth Res. : "persistent infringements" - Dan is getting predictable again.

Dan Kennedy v St. Ives Rangers : "violent conduct" - makes a change I suppose. 

Brian Kitchin v Sawston : "a very late and high challenge" - Hey Ref with Kitch's pace he did well to get there at all.

Tony Knowles v Godmanchester : "Ref, you don't know what you are doing..... this was not the first time he had questioned one of my decisions" - Perhaps if you'd given a foul when Knowlsey was kicked up in the air he wouldn't have questioned the decision Ref.

Dave McIntyre v Papworth Res. : (this should be a cracker) - no, sorry it was just a load of waffle trying to justify booking a spectator at half-time.

Michael Moore v Papworth Res. : " I'd only booked 9 players and needed one more for double figures" - well it didn't really say that but it might well as done.

Danny Plumb v St. Ives Town : "I awarded a free-kick for a foul against Mr Plumb, he got up and then dribbled the ball about 10 yards in order to stop them taking it" - So you booked him for being a prat then Ref, fair enough.

Danny Plumb v Sawston : "when he realised that I had allowed play to continue he showed dissent towards me both by his aggressive manner and verbally" - come on Matt, have a word.

Danny Plumb v Foxton : "late challenge" - yawn.

Danny Plumb v Fordham : "high reckless challenge" - slightly better.

Danny Plumb v Over Sports : (this is a good 'un) "after I blew the whistle to end the first half of play, the player showed dissent by word and action.... saying 'You're bloody joking!' and by waving his arms" - that'd be the game when Matt had to run back and grab him before he got sent off.

Matt Plumb v Over Sports : " I blew the whistle to end the first half of play, the player then kicked the ball away.......I deemed it to be unsporting behaviour" - Oh, so that's what started Danny off!

Danny Plumb v Mildenhall : "tackled an opponent from behind in a late and reckless manner" - sounds likely.

Danny Plumb v Wenden Wanderers : "late tackle" - this lad needs a watch.

Danny Plumb v Debden : "persistantly (sic) infringing the laws of the game" - 88th minute of a game we're winning 6-2, nice one Dan, £7 well spent.

Matt Plumb v Somersham : "did tackle an opponent to gain possession of the ball, he made no contact with the ball, but clashed clumsily into the legs of his opponent.......... guilty of unsporting behaviour" - doesn't sound like a booking to me

Matt Plumb v Sawston : "late tackle" - must run in the family.

Matt Plumb v Debden : "late, reckless tackle" - yep.

Rob Seal v St. Ives Town : " his challenge was late and reckless" - happens.

Rob Seal v Godmanchester : "late and reckless challenge" - happened again.